CAMPAIGNS FROM HELL

Background: The entrance to hell has been on a steady decline for the last quarter and the BHT is not looking great. Worried by these trends, Lucifer assembles the best and brightest in advertising to reverse the trend and once again put HellTM on the map.

Meeting room 666-B

Beelzebub: So, gentleman is everyone accounted for?
(Mumbled replies in unison)

Beelzebub: Excellent. As you gentleman know, we are here to decide on the final details of the campaign before we show it to our lord of darkness, the destroyer of worlds, seeker of souls and current CEO Mr. Lucifer.

Creative Director: Does everyone have a copy of the brief?

(Beelzebub snaps his fingers and copies of the brief appear in front of everyone in a puff of smoke and Sulphur)

Everyone starts coughing except Beelzebub.

Beelzebub: My apologies, we are currently working on ways to reduce emissions for our summoning process and hopefully we will be able to give you a new brief for this and other CSR initiatives we have taken such as biodegradable tools of torture, humane treatment of hell hounds and using sustainable sources for the stoking of hell fire.

Copy Writer: (Leans in to creative director) So I guess they’ll have a month to make the brief and we’ll have 2 days to deliver the campaign?

Beelzebub: To go back briefly to the brief, a little joke there. Just because its hell doesn’t mean we can’t have some fun! As you gentleman know, we have been working on the campaign for nearly 2 months now and this is the 7th round of changes but I’m sure that we are pretty close to where we want to be.

Creative Director: Yes, we have the presentation here, but I can’t seem to connect to the wireless system. Should I just connect to the HDMI cable?

Beelzebub: No that’s the only option we have here, it’s one of our own inventions.

Creative Director: Well, maybe I can just show you on the screen if you could (he turns the screen to Beelzebub, he then points to copy writer) maybe you could start things off.

Copy Writer: Ahem…As we know, the initial brief was regarding the image building/tourism promotion campaign for HellTM also known as the eternal pit of darkness. Granted it was a tough sell with the lakes of fire, rain of Sulphur, torture chambers and the eternal suffering. But that’s what advertising is all about and we got into this field because we love challenges.

The creative team mumbles in unison.

Copy Writer: So, we realized after our last round of focus group discussions that the audience was not responding positively to the adventure tourism approach. We realized we needed to present the features of hell in a more positive light.

Creative Director: (Getting up) yes, thank you I’ll take it from here. Yes, we realized that most people don’t like the idea of taking challenges on their time off. Yes, we would be appealing to a niche audience of dare devils and devils in general but that is not the TG we are aiming for with this campaign.

So, we decided to use more positive terminology to describe the features of HellTM. For example, instead of saying eternal flames of hell we could use the term “warm climate” instead of seas of fire we could say “balmy shores.”

Copy Writer: (Cutting in) we also decided on a campaign to highlight to the local cuisine of hell. We are currently in the process of acquiring several food vloggers to come and show a more positive side of hell by showing the rest of the universe about our amazing range of food. Unfortunately, a lot of them are busy in Pakistan at the moment but as soon as they are free we will be bringing them over right away.

Creative Manager: We had also decided to rephrase certain foods to make them more palatable for our new visitors. So Cactus juice could be freshly squeezed organic cactus juice. Goblets of oozing pus could be protein shakes.

Beelzebub: Hmmm…

Everyone in the creative team holds their breath.

Beelzebub: That’s really good

There is a collective sigh of relief.

Beelzebub: But…

Everyone’s butt clenches.

Beelzebub: What we need is a great line to bring this all together. I mean I like where this is going but we really need a great tagline and a hashtag to seal the deal.

Creative Director: Well we did have a line in mind and a logo (changes slide)

“It’s a hell of a good time!”

Beelzebub: Excellent work gentlemen

The creative team looks at each other as much relieved as they are pleased.

Beelzebub: I think this is almost ready to be presented to the man downstairs.

Creative Director: Wait! Almost ready?

Beelzebub: Yes gentleman, we are nearly there.

Creative Director: But it’s the 7th round of changes!

Beelzebub: I’ll email you the details by day after tomorrow and I’m sure you can have them done by Monday.

Creative Director: But…today is Friday.

Beelzebub: I know, I’m sure it won’t be easy, but you wouldn’t have an issue coming in over the weekend because as you know we need to nail this down ASAP.

Creative Director: (Gritting his teeth) No, not at all.

Beelzebub: Excellent.

Creative Director: But these will be the last round of changes.

Beelzebub: Last round, of course not gentlemen.

Copy Writer: But but, you said it almost…

Beelzebub: But you must know gentlemen this is Hell, we are proud to create personalized tortures for each unfortunate soul. Some get to burn in the sea of fire, some are pulled apart by hell hounds and others get to present new campaign ideas without approval for the rest of eternity. Well anyway, see you on Monday!